Question:
Check out my poem "Robbies Christmas" :D Christmas isn't over yet :D haha?
Davie Magill
2011-01-06 12:16:20 UTC
Robbies Christmas

I have a story, quite a story to tell
The day mrs. Claus, woke with a yell
"Santa its christmas! Get to your sleigh!"
And Santa woke with a fright on the eve of christmas day

Santa got his sack, his sack full of toys
And looked down his list of the girls and boys
He checked his list, and he checked to twice
Checked off all of the children who had been naughty and nice

But Santa was left with one little boy
He had no parents and only one little toy
But Santa had him marked as naughty not nice
On his list which he checked off twice

This boy was called Robbie, Robbie McCheer
Who had tried to be good for most of the year
Poor Robbie couldn't help it, he got into a fight
He couldn't tell the difference between what was wrong and right 

But Santa seen the good, in Robbie's heart
And he knew no presents would tear Robbie apart
So Santa packed his sack and jumped on his sleigh
And Rudolph and him got to work, right away

They reached the roof, where Robbie slept
And Santa went down to the place Robbie had wept
He picked up the boy, and asked what was wrong
And Robbie told Santa "my true love is gone"

So Santa told Robbie jump on my sleigh
Then unpacked his presents for the children to play
He jumped on his sleigh and shouted
"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Away!!"

Then Santa told Robbie, "i have one more place, one last visit to pay"
And then Robbie looked and to his dismay
It was the house where his love stayed
The place her and Robbie once played

Santa took Robbie into her house
As fast as he could but as quiet as a mouse
He took Robbie up to her room
Then Robbie told Santa, "thats my beautiful June"

Santa gave Robbie a little wrapped chest
Inside a gold necklace for June did rest
Robbie walked over, gently woke up his love
And he stroked back her hair as gently as a dove

He gave her the present as Santa looked on
She opened her present and put it on
She hugged her Robbie, and tears filled her eyes 
What a beautiful christmas surprise

Then Santa whispered "its time to go"
And Santa and Robbie left in the snow
They looked back as they flew through the sky
And started to wave June Goodbye 

Santa dropped of Robbie back to his home
He left him there all alone
And Robbie sat and thought of June all christmas day
About how he loved her in every single way

One year passed, and Robbie forgot about his goodbye
What a year he had and how time did fly
But Santa came to Robbie, and Robbie jumped on his sleigh
And Robbie and him flew away

Robbie went down, to the room where June lay
He told Santa to leave, he wants to stay
And he grabbed Junes hand, and slowly they kissed
This is the story of the happiest christmas

Santa jumped on his sleigh and flew back home
He told Mrs Claus his job was done
He got into bed and thought of the next year
How could he spread anymore love or christmas cheer 

Merry Christmas

Davie Magill 
Three answers:
anonymous
2011-01-10 12:07:07 UTC
I thought it was great, a beautiful poem and very well written.
?
2016-10-21 12:41:24 UTC
useful. i think of that they went too a procedures. it truly is a Christian united states of america, which ability Christ Jesus. there's a God that protects u.s.. interior the 2007 flood, I have been given a grant from him. do not assume me to instruct the different cheek against Jesus. i'm very grateful. Sorry Sears yet your Christmas decorations have been the countless prettiest I truly have seen. you're somebody i had to assert; "Oh close-as much as", different than i improve into busy employing my Sears cost account. Merry Christmas and happy New 12 months besides.
Phillipe
2011-01-07 18:19:05 UTC
Very nice....It seems as if Old St. Nick is stretching his vocation into St. Valentine's Day.



(BTW...Substitute another word for "But" (such as "then)...You overused the word in the third stanza.


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